Happy March!
March carries a particular energy. The year is no longer new, yet it is not fully set. Many people feel a push to move forward, clean things up, make progress, get life back in order.
This is the month when what feels unfinished begins to demand your attention. The question that arises: Why is this still with me?
There is a kind of pain, uneasiness, ache that continues to live in the present, disguised as “thinking it through.” You are cooking dinner, driving to work, lying in bed. The same scene. Same words. Same upset comes up again and again and again. These are stories that take up emotional real estate in your day. They steal your attention right when you need it most. Why? Because something, somewhere, is not being forgiven.
Think of forgiveness as access. Who has access to you in your own mind?
Plenty of people lose access to your life through distance, time, or choice. Yet they still occupy space in your thoughts. That one comment that sets you off every time you think of it, a betrayal that shocked you, a decision you did not see coming, an apology that was never said. Your mind keeps granting entry.
Forgiveness is how you change your mind’s access policy. This is not about pretending it did not matter. It mattered. This is about taking back your inner world.
A Useful Truth
Many people avoid forgiveness because they feel like they are losing. As if letting go means the other person “wins.” However, the continuous replay only benefits one thing: the old pain. It remains powerful through repetition.
You can keep your standards and still stop the replay. Forgiveness is the moment you stop giving over your energy and power. It is a choice to say: 'This happened.' It is part of what makes me, me. I am not giving it more access to my attention.
The Mind Access Audit
Write this at the top of a page: Where is my attention going that I did not choose?
Then do this:
Step 1. Name the loop.
Write one sentence about what keeps replaying in your head—the person, event, or moment. Write the line your mind repeats when it returns. It might be: “How could they?” or “I should have…” or “They ruined…” or “I will never…”
Step 2. Name what the replay protects.
Be honest. The replay can protect you from feeling grief, shame, disappointment, or powerlessness. It can protect you from admitting: this is over. It can protect you from taking a new risk.
Step 3. Name what you want.
Finish this line: “I keep replaying this because I still want _____.” Maybe it is an apology, an explanation, justice, recognition, a redo.
Step 4. Decide what access changes now.
Write one sentence that marks the new boundary:
- “I do not re-argue this in my head.”
- “I do not check up on them.”
- “I do not use my mornings to relive this.”
- “I will not rehearse speeches I will never give.”
Step 5. Choose a redirect phrase.
Pick something short you can repeat when the loop starts.
Try: “That story ends here.”
Or: “Back to my life.”
This is simple, though not always easy. The win is repetition in a new direction.
Why This Works
Your brain learns through practice. The more you replay an injury, an upset, the more it becomes accessible. That is how a loop turns into a reflex. Changing access trains your attention to return to the present moment.
Forgiveness, through this lens, becomes a form of self-respect: you stop letting an old moment run your day.
Personal Reflection
This reflection, inspired by the practices in Take a Shot at Happiness, helps you integrate what you have just read.
Photo Op
Take one photograph that captures where you want your attention to live this month. Choose something from your actual day—a real moment.
After you take the photo, write one line:
“This is where I want to return.”
Action Opportunity
Look at your photo and write a short paragraph:
- What pulled you to this image?
- What does it reveal about what matters to you right now?
- What will you do the next time the old loop tries to take over?
Save your words with the image in your Take a Shot at Happiness App or in your journal.
If you want a quick check-in on what supports your happiness right now, my Happiness Quiz is here:
Ways to stay connected ⬇️
My latest Best Holistic Life article, a podcast conversation, the Take a Shot at Happiness App, and my transformational travel journeys are all here to support your wholebeing in mind, body, and spirit.
